Watch out girls,
there are a rash of new seduction books on the market for men offering
tips and tricks on how to get a woman in bed without even dating her,
let alone investing in a commitment as deep as a cup of coffee.
Now, as you all
know, I'm quite the advocate for good old love and romance, so I think
it's pretty important to be able to spot and neutralize these junior
Romeos before they pounce.
Whether you want
to cut these guys off before they ever make a move, or just send the
signal that you're not an easy target, we've got the Man-tidote.
1) Phone Tag and Other Games.
The one-night stand books are generally divided on whether or not to
ask for a woman's phone number. One school (or detention center) of
thought is that once a guy has gotten what he wanted (sex) that there's
no reason for getting your phone number. Other books suggest what I
like to call "The Card Trick" - instead of asking for your
number, a guy will hand you his business card, so he doesn't have to
go out on the rejection limb and ask for your number.
A guy who is interested in you will either ask for your phone number
or have gained enough information about you during your conversation
to get it on his own (through work, or mutual friends.) If a man hands
you his card without asking for your number, simply ask him for a pen,
write your number on the back of the card, and return the card to him.
That way, he'll not only have your phone number, he'll know that you
don't have his. (Putting the ball in his court.)
2) Playing the Numbers
Many of these books suggest that a man has better odds of getting sex
by hitting on lots of women with the intent of finding someone who will
go for a one-night stand versus asking a woman for her phone number,
then a date, and then campaigning for sex. One book suggests that 20%
of women in a club are looking for a one-night stand, rationalizing
that the remaining 80% must be prudish, involved, or the insecure man's
Be part of the 80%. Make a policy not to go for one-night stands.
3) Whispering in
Another tip suggests men whisper in a woman's ear to increase excitement,
the excuse of course, being that the club or bar is loud and he has
to whisper for you to hear him. He'll start about 9 or 10 inches from
your ear and gradually move in until his lips are almost touching your
ear. While this is an effective way of initiating intimacy, remember
that this guy may have an ulterior motive, and that is to get him into
position for move #4.
Pull your head away the first time he moves in to whisper, signaling
that you're not interested in that level of intimacy with someone you've
4) Feeling You Up
As the player moves in for the whisper, he'll be holding his drink in
front of his own chest, knuckles outward. As he leans in for the whisper
he'll brush his knuckles against your breast. This is, of course, all
under the guise of being purely unintentional, an accident. If you don't
haul off and smack him, he'll take it as a green light to continue "accidentally"
touching you every minute or so. In my book this is the cheap evolution
of the cheesy 1950's move that high school boys made when they pretended
to yawn in order to put an arm around a girl at the movies.
There are two ways to put a halt to this, with body language (cross
your arm in front of your chest, creating both a physical barrier and
a strong "blocking" signal) and with words. ("Careful,
there"... or "Ooops! You almost spilled your drink on me.")
5) "Let's get out of here"
The guiding principal behind most of these books is that the guy will
get a woman so thrilled and giddy with connecting body language and
covert touching that you won't have enough time to make a rational decision
about whether or not you're interested, and that you'll act (and go
home with him) from a purely emotional level. When he thinks you might
be receptive, he'll ask if he can give you a ride home or if you want
to go somewhere else.
Don't leave a club with someone you've just met. First, it's not safe.
Second, your perfect excuse is always, "Sorry, I'm sticking with
my friends." And third, if a guy is really interested in dating
you, he'll ask for your phone number before he leaves.
Remember, most guys
are pretty genuine and just as interested in dating and meeting someone
special as women are.
As for the guys
who aren't - Well, just be sure to keep your eye out for sharks in the