Flirting 101: 10 Tips to Make 'em Drool
You don't have to look like Jennifer Anniston or Brad Pitt to make the guys (or girls) go gaga. All you need is your fabulous smile and a few surefire flirting tips like the ones you'll find below to attract the opposite sex like paparazzi to a movie star.
For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel comfortable in taking a risk. For men, the secret is in showcasing your masculinity. (And no, that doesn't mean adjusting yourself or proving once and for all that you are the Belching King.)
1) Lock Eyes
Lock eyes with the
person you're flirting with for a full five to six seconds, then smile
and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the guy's forehead for
goodness sake, just give him a smoldering come-hither look and look
away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period.
Why? Your target needs to know it's them you're flirting with, and eye
contact is a universal signal of
Smiling is absolutely
the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox. Psychology and body
language experts agree that one of the most important things you can
do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile.
Not a giant plastic used car salesman smile, just your normal "I'm
having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the
trick. According to body language expert Patti Wood, "the smile
is the international signal of friendliness." Guys, if you lock
eyes and smiles with a woman three or more times in an evening, you
have received a clear signal that she's interested. Make your move,
3) Be a Vampire's Best Friend
One of the most winning flirting techniques a woman can use is the exposure of her neck. This can be done with a head tilt to one side, the classic hair flip, or my personal favorite, the over-the-shoulder glance - the asymmetrical position attracts attention, exposes your neck, and gives you the opportunity to lock eyes. The over-the-shoulder move is extra-effective because it's sexy and it sends a signal to your target that they are worth a second look.
4) Preen Like A Peacock
We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we're attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a smile and a gaze. Another trick? Toss your hair to one side. This classic move is a double whammy that combines preening and a flash of neck. Need we say more?
5) Lip Service
Both men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because they signal youth, sex and fertility. How to make the most of it? For women, try wearing a red lipstick (red has been shown toincrease a man's heart rate), which not only gives your lips that youthful color, but also makes your smile more visible and your teeth whiter. A super-shiny lip gloss can also give you an advantage, making your lips look moist and kissable. For both men and women, try licking your lips (subtlety is key here, you don't want to look like you're trying out for a porno flick.) or biting your lower lip - both are extremely effective flirting behaviors.
6) Cross Your Legs (Women)
Crossing and uncrossing
your legs is another surefire flirting technique, especially if you're
wearing high heels. The act of crossing
7) Square Your Shoulders (Men)
Women are biologically
attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back.
Feel free totake up some space. For men who are victims of the "nice
guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women,
try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist
Albert Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative
8) Let Your Feet Do The Talking
According to body language expert Wood, you want to make yourself a "safe" (read approachable) target. Wood says "to be very approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward. "
For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.
9) Be a Mimic
People mirror each
other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures,
voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's behavior.
If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches his head, you
scratch your head. If you are mirroring
10) Focus, Focus, Focus.
Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating. Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt - signal you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling and laughing are crucial here - it's the quickest, easiest way to put another person at ease and make a connection. Finally, another effective flirting technique is low-level touching such as brushing the shoulder or elbow.
How to tell if a woman is flirting with you?
Look for the signs above, especially extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.
How to tell if a guy is flirting with you?
Again, the signs above are fantastic indicators, but men tend to take things a little further bydemonstrating their social status with moves that can include, flashing cash and talking about their occupations and (you guessed it) cars.
UK Singles - Dating Online Since 1999